It’s not uncommon for women to want their man to be more aggressive in bed. It’s also not uncommon that men don’t really know how to be more aggressive in bed. That’s why I decided to write this blog post on 5 aggressive things to do in bed.
If you’re a man wondering what to do to be more aggressive in bed, this blog post is for you. If you’re a woman wanting your man to be more aggressive, well then you can just share this blog post with your man.
Let’s dive in
Being Aggressive in Bed is Not the Same as Being Abusive
Before I jump into the specific things you can do to be more aggressive in bed I first want to state that by aggressive I of course don’t mean that you should physically hurt your woman in any way.
Being aggressive in bed is about taking charge and physically leading your woman in a confident way. This has nothing to do with inflicting pain. Instead it’s about helping your woman to live out her sexual desires.
Since a lot of women are sexually submissive they love it when the man leads them in a dominant way in the bedroom. However it’s important to point out that this only applies for a sexual reality. Regardless of how they want you to act in the bedroom, during the day they still want you to treat them with the same respect as always.
Now let’s look at the different aggressive things you can do in bed.
Physically Lead Your Partner
To take charge and physically lead your partner is a great way of being more aggressive in bed. You can do this by physically moving her body. If you for example want to change position, you physically move her body to the new position without hesitation. This way she will feel you natural strength as a man, most women love this.
You can also physically lead her during the foreplay. An example of this can be that you press her up against a wall or a door while you make out with her and then lift her up and throw her onto the bed. But even such small things like just taking her hand and leading her towards the bed are great.
If you are finding it difficult to physically lead your partner, taking a salsa course is a great way to learn how to lead a woman.
To learn even more specific techniques on how to physically lead your woman in the bedroom I recommend my post on how to take charge in bed. To be good at physically leading its also great to have a high sexual confidence. To improve your sexual self confidence, check out my post how to be more confident in bed.
Become More Aggressive by Commanding Your Partner
Another great way to be more aggressive in bed is to start commanding your partner during sex. You can command her to do things at the same time as you physically lead her. But you can also command her instead of leading. In an unapologetic way you tell her what you want her to do, when you want her to do it, and in which way.
Start out with small things like telling her you want her to go down on you. Then increase your assertiveness by adding dirty talk.
Commanding your woman will add more aggressiveness to the bedroom and thus make the sex hotter for her. But on top of this it will also make the sex better for you, since you are actually giving instructions to your woman on how you like it.
Talk Dirty to Your Partner
Talking dirty to your partner is a great aggressive thing to do in bed. You can combine this with commands, but also just talk about what you experience in a dirty way. When you talk dirty it’s important to start out slow and then, depending on your woman’s answer, you build it up.
To play it safe you can just start of with things like, “so nice” and “your so fucking hot”. Depending on your woman’s reactions and as she becomes more and more aroused you can become more graphic and more dirty.
Once you have worked your way up to it, the following phrases are examples of dirty talk that you can use or get inspired by:
- Your pussy feels so nice and wants to come hard on my cock
- My hard cock is so deep inside you
- I can feel how much your pussy wants to come on my hard cock
- You love to be fucked hard
- you’re my personal little slut
- you love being fucked like a slut
- you love being fucked hard like a little slut
- you’re so filthy and it makes you want to come hard
Fuck your Partner Aggressively
Another great way to be more aggressive in bed is to fuck your partner hard. Sure most woman love to make sweet love, but most women also loves to be fucked really hard.
To fuck her hard it’s of course important to use deep and fast strokes. To be able to fuck a woman with fast and deep strokes for a longer extent of time without coming, can often be difficult for us guys.
The best way to avoid coming when you fuck her hard is to make sure you remain relaxed in your hip. Take deep and relaxing breaths at the same time as you fuck her hard.
Additional Aggressive Things to Do
To provide even more mental stimulation when you fuck you partner hard, you can also add the following different aggressive things:
- Pin her hands to the bed. As you fuck her you hold her hands pinned to the bed.
- Smack her ass. This works best in doggy style. Some women enjoy this while others don’t, so just give it a try and see what type of reaction you get. However, you’re not smacking her ass to inflict pain, but the sound it makes is a great mental stimulation for women who love aggressive things in bed.
- Grab her by the hair. As you fuck your woman you grab her by the hair. Keep you grip close to the hair roots to not cause annoying pain. When you have your woman’s hair in a grip you can also add even more aggressiveness by pressing her head down against the bed.
Use BDSM Restraints on Your Partner
If you want to be even more aggressive you can also add some BDSM tools to the mix. This can either be things like restraints, such as different types of handcuffs or blindfolds. Or tools like paddles, and whips. If you don’t feel ready to shop these type of things but still want to try it out, you can also just use what you have at home.
Ties and scarfs works perfect both for tying up your girlfriend and for depriving her of her vision. By using things you already have at home it also comes across a bit more spontaneous. Regardless of if you use special BDSM equipment, tying up your woman is a great way to be more aggressive in bed.
If you’re ready to get the tools, I recommend my guide on the best BDSM kits.
Don’t Forget Aftercare and Pre-talk
It doesn’t matter if you’re having rough sex or just normal sex, after sex talks are always good to have. By talking about what you enjoyed most, you will build towards even better sex next time and an even more satisfying sexual relationship in the long term.
However, if the sex is especially rough or aggressive, aftercare and an after sex talk is even more important. Talk about the experience. Assure your woman that you enjoyed the sex and make sure she felt good about it.
If you are planning to have BDSM type of sex or especially rough sex you should also have a pre-talk. In this talk you decide what is okay and not, you also choose a safe word if needed.
There’s no reason why you shouldn’t become great in bed.